I have gone to cons for the last 13 years, or maybe it is twelve…it is a lot either way. Anyway, I have colored my hair multiple colors and I have worn the weirdest clothing from tights and cloaks to hockey jerseys and even wore fringe this millennium. But I have never done cosplay.
I have admired cosplay from afar, having no skill and also because I don’t want to be “that guy,” which makes me sound like that guy anyway. But what I mean to say is that I have never attempted to be in cosplay.
I am a guy. So I am aware I am not the shapely female that drives the cosplay fandom. I also am not normally clean shaven because when I am hairless, I look like a baby-faced old man. I’m getting old despite my verbal argumentation resisting this fact.
So it was with simple belief that I would go as Captain Jack Harkness this year. I will shave and moisturize, I will get my hair colored black for the first time ever and get it cut special for the convention. I have a blue shirt, which is my favorite dress shirt I own for the past couple years. I have everything except a British army jacket and an “official vortex manipulator.” So I am going with my actual army jacket and a jury-rigged set of straps.
So with so much in my favor and the costume being so simple, why am I so worried?
Costume snobs. I am terrified that those arrogant and elite asses are going to pick apart how my homemade vortex manipulator isn’t the right shade or that my jacket doesn’t have the right pockets. I am worried that they will assume that because it is so Easy to make” that they will be allowed to be that much more critical as the bar is set so low. Let me be specific. I am not worried about the professionals and actual booth babes. I am not worried about the fans who are SO much better than me.
My favorite cosplay I ever saw in person is…a tie between Predator and a Mass Effect Quarian.
Both of those costumes were so good, I can’t decide. But it is the easy costumes that make a good mixture as well, like the Marty McFly I saw last summer at Space City Con(Got a vest?), the same 2x yearly con I am going to this weekend. Those easy costumes give the newbies like me hope that the beginnings and shallow end of the pool are acceptable places to start. Not all of us have plastiforming and latex sewing skills, nor would you want stretchy fabric across my manly parts.
So I am going as Captain Jack. I still get to be gorgeous. I still get to be sexy. I have even sworn to fake gay for the role so that there can be an Ianto in my pictures. I get to be military and science fictiony. I get to be a soldier.
So yes, I am going to be a little off. I am probably going to lie and say I lost my vortex manipulator. But in my heart, I am going to tell off the player-haters with every sly wink and every tilted glance the flipped hair will offer. I will be so 51st century hot that it won’t matter if I am on my first costume or my last. My 51st century pheromones, classically called toothpaste, soap and water will blow the con-funk of those lazy “leet” fans away in a puff of minty clean hygiene and a hint of polo sport.
I can’t help but draw in the female fans and even the gay fans. I will even pay a proper friendship back to the ones who just figure out my persona. I will embrace them all, the ones in and out of costume. I will notice them. I will respect them. I will give props and high fives. I will photograph and say thank you. Every fan is awesome. They are my brothers and sisters. They are my peeps. They are always going to outnumber the critics. My critics are jealous that I went to any trouble at all. If they were real fans, instead of talking, they would volunteer to help make EVERY costume better, be happy that their fellow fans try to make the con better… or shut the hell up.
And yes, there will be pictures of this adventure here on the website and at our Facebook and Twitter links.